Parenting Tip: Evaluation Your Child’s Conscience
Posted on 12. Jan, 2010 by info in News
10 Questions to Evaluate the Strength of Your Child’s Conscience
As you enter the New Year, take a few minutes and consider your own parenting. You might want to set some goals for your child’s development this year. The following questions are addressed in Hero Training Camp, the conscience development course for kids. (Learn more about Hero Training Camp at www.biblicalparenting.org ) You can use it in your family to help your children understand the biblical concept of the conscience and then take practical steps to strengthen it.
1) How is your child doing at taking initiative?
One of the signs of maturity at any age is learning to see what needs to be done and doing it. Part of conscience training is helping children to be more sensitive to things that need to be done. But seeing a problem isn’t good enough. Responding is also important. Heroes look for things that are out of place or need to be fixed, and they take action. Talk to your kids about being heroes now, in the small things of life. After all David didn’t start being a hero by killing Goliath. He started by demonstrating responsibility with the sheep, practicing his musical instrument, and learning the skill of using his sling. Being a hero starts in the small things of life.
2) What convictions does your child have?
All children have convictions. Some are erroneous or just simply wrong. For example, some children believe that if a brother is irritating then they have the right to punch him. Others believe that they should be able to get to the next level of the video game before responding to Mom’s instructions. The conscience uses convictions for making decisions. The best convictions come from the Bible. Choose to make this year a year of helping children understand how God’s Word is relevant for their lives.
3) How does your child handle mistakes and offenses?
Another sign of maturity is the ability to respond well when you’ve done the wrong thing. After all, the conscience prompts people on the inside when they’ve hurt someone, made a mistake, or done the wrong thing. But many kids don’t know how to respond well to offenses. Instead, they react by blaming, rationalizing, justifying, and getting angry. Kids need a plan for dealing with wrongs. Plan to spend extra time this year teaching children how to handle their mistakes and offenses, learn from them, experience forgiveness, and move forward in life.
4) How is your child doing with honesty?
The conscience prompts a person to be honest. In fact, when you lie, cheat, or steal, the conscience provides a prompting in your heart that you’ve done the wrong thing. Spend some time teaching your kids how valuable integrity is. It has a number of practical benefits like receiving the benefit of the doubt, the privilege of privacy, the enjoyment of trustworthiness and most importantly, a peace on the inside, instead of the fear of wondering when you’ll get caught.
5) Does your child show genuine care for others?
Caring about others is another prompting of the conscience and is certainly one of the characteristics of heroes. Unfortunately, some children are rather self-focused, self-absorbed, and cold-hearted. They need work in the development of their consciences in this area. One idea is to plan ways to care for others. Stories like the Good Samaritan help children recognize the responsibility they have to show kindness to others. You might end each day by asking, “What random act of kindness did you do today?” That question asked regularly provides accountability and an expectation that in your family, you’re out to be heroes in practical ways by caring for others.
6) How does your child handle correction?
Many children view correction as an enemy, some sign of inadequacy or unworthiness. But the Bible has a different take on correction. Proverbs 6:23 tells us, “The corrections of discipline are the way to life.” That means that correction is one of the ways that we learn. You can learn by reading a book, watching a video, listening to a coach, or doing some research. But another valuable way to learn is through correction. Of course, in order for children to value correction, many parents need to value it first, instead of seeing it as an interruption in their lives. This year plan margin into your life for correction. After all, correction times are often great opportunities for heart work.
7) How does your child handle temptation?
One of the enemies of the conscience is temptation. We all want our kids to be like Daniel in the Bible. Daniel 1:8 says, “Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat.” We all want our children to grow up to withstand temptation. That work starts now but children need a plan. Heroes have a plan to handle the temptations of life. Spend time talking to your children about tempting situations and start developing hypothetical plans to deal with real life situations. Remind children that God has placed within them a conscience and the Holy Spirit to remind them to do what’s right and avoid wrongs, even when parents aren’t around.
Is your child internally motivated?
Many children rely on parental prompters to get things done or correct wrongs. Children with a strong conscience are internally motivated in these areas instead of waiting for external prompters. Of course, many parents get stuck in the middle, always having to tell their kids to do even the smallest things. Take time this year to help your children manage themselves, watch the clock, look at a room before they leave it to see if they’ve left something undone behind. Affirm children for signs of maturity in this area. The conscience is part of God’s internal motivation system. It needs to be developed.
9) How does your child handle emotions?
Although emotions are God given, they have to be managed or they can damage relationships. Proverbs 29:11 tells u, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Self-control is important. The conscience can help children by prompting them when their emotions have crossed the line. Even positive emotions like excitement can get out of control resulting in a person becoming irritating to others or not knowing when to quit. Many children need help understanding and managing their emotions. Spend extra time this year helping your children develop emotional control. It will help them for the rest of their lives.
10) How is your child’s personal relationship with God?
One of the purposes of the conscience is to point to God (Romans 2:15). Every person has a conscience as an internal witness to the fact that God exists. The conscience points to sin in our lives and salvation cleanses the conscience (Hebrews 10:22). Talking about the conscience with children can be an excellent way to help them develop a personal faith.
A biblical understanding of the conscience reveals that it is part of God’s internal motivation system that functions best when it is cleansed through salvation, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and relies on God’s Word. Then it can help children to do what’s right, deal with wrongs, be honest, and care about others.
This tip was used with permission from the National Center for Biblical Parenting. Visit them at http:www.biblicalparenting.org