If it’s broken, fix it.

If it’s empty, fill it up.

If it’s open, shut it.

If it’s out, put it away.

If it’s messy, clean it up.

If you can’t, then report it.

That’s honor.

Take time to teach children that they don’t have to be asked in order to do a job. Honor means that we’re all contributing to family life. In fact, you may ask a child to go around the house and look for one job that needs to be done and do it, then report back to you.

These kinds of discussions and exercises will help children think outside of their little box and discover that they have a responsibility to the family. They can contribute to family life by just seeing something that needs to be done and doing it.

Of course, that’s what makes a valuable employee too so you can teach your children something more important than just how to get along better in your family. You may be preparing them to be outstanding employees as they get older.

What are some ways that you’ve found helpful to teach your kids to help in the family? Click here to tell us about it.

This parenting tip comes from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes In You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

This tip was used with permission from the National Center for Biblical Parenting.                          
Visit them at http:www.biblicalparenting.org

Pastor Rick

When: Immediately following church service

Food:  Is being provided for so all we ask for you is to bring your appetite!

Why: Get to know newer families at PBC as well as old friends.

L’ABRI Conference California
Roseville – August 5-8, 2010

Thursday: Art Gallery Opening

Friday Night: Concert

Saturday Night: Movie

25 Insightful Workshops – Friday and Saturday Evening Dinners – Sunday Worship/Sermon

REGISTRATION NOW OPEN

Please visit WWW.LABRI-CALIFORNIA.ORG for more information

Parents need to know when property or people are in danger, but many of the daily infractions or mistakes fall into a gray area requiring discernment on the part of a parent and child. You don’t want to remove all reporting of offenses because sometimes you’ll rely on one child to help you know when another is in danger or in trouble.

Sometimes a child should overlook an irritation and not be so easily provoked. If a child has tried to resolve the problem, and the offense isn’t one to drop, then the child should report it to an adult. This isn’t tattling. It’s following a biblical model of conflict management. The Scriptures teach that if a problem can’t be resolved between two people, then one should get another person involved in the process (Matthew 18).

The way the offense is reported and the motivation behind the report is important. If you sense that your child is just trying to get the other child in trouble, then that report is motivated by selfishness and is considered tattling.

You can use tattling to teach children how to report offenses in an honoring way, without exaggeration or coloring the truth, and admitting their own part of the problem. Like many issues in family life, tattling can be a great teaching opportunity.

Honor is an important concept to develop in family life and is developed in the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

This tip was used with permission from the National Center for Biblical Parenting. Visit them at http:www.biblicalparenting.org

Some parents are frustrated because their children are so self-focused that they can’t seem to grasp the concept of honoring others. How can you help children think about other people instead of always thinking about themselves?

One helpful way is to teach kids to recognize emotions in others and then know how to respond accordingly. One dad wanted to work on honor with his seven-year-old daughter, Diane, who was self-centered, always talking and thinking about herself. He used a journal and, in the evening, asked Diane to identify examples of a friend or family member who was sad, mad, or glad that day. Then he asked the question, “How might you respond to that person in a helpful way?”

They continued this exercise every evening for two weeks. After awhile it helped Diane get outside of herself, look at the needs and feelings of others, and then talk about ways to respond with honor. When her brother is mad, it might be best to leave him alone or to just ask a helpful question. With her friend who is sad, she could offer to help and then listen empathetically. When Mom is glad, Diane could enter into that gladness by listening to the story and enjoying the situation too.

The Bible says in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves.” That’s good advice for all of us. Seeing and responding to emotions in others is a great way to start.

To learn more about teaching honor in your family, consider the book,  Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes In You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

This tip was used with permission from the National Center for Biblical Parenting. Visit them at http:www.biblicalparenting.org

We all want cooperation from our children and many parents are disappointed when they don’t get it, but do we take time to teach it? Cooperation involves give and take. As parents, we are more than willing to give, expecting that our children will give sometimes too. Unfortunately, some children don’t know how to give; they only take. Any negotiation has to have something in it for the child or he won’t work with you, and if he does agree to work, he’ll do so with a bad attitude. That’s not cooperation, that’s coercion.

If you have a child who doesn’t know how to cooperate, maybe you need to use a technique we call, “Obey first and then we’ll talk about it.” This technique simply reverses the sequence of two important elements, discussion and responsiveness. A person who knows how to cooperate can be responsive and give in without necessarily having a personal benefit. The enjoyment of a pleasant relationship is the reward and sacrifice is a way to gain it.

Some parents try to talk their children into following instructions or have discussions to help them want to obey. These children often can’t follow a simple instruction without a dialogue and grow up to make poor team members, difficult employees, and demanding friends.

Some parents who see a need for their children to give, not just take, require obedience by saying, “Because I’m the parent, that’s why.” We believe that although these parents may have a handle on the problem, their solution is inadequate. We simply suggest that a child may need a period of time where following instructions comes before the discussion to foster the ability to give up one’s agenda without always having to get something out of it.

When Jenny is asked to get on her pajamas and responds with, “But I’m not tired,” Mom may say, “Jenny, I’d like you to obey first and then we’ll talk about it.” After Jenny obeys, then a discussion about bedtime may take place. It’s surprising though, how many children don’t feel the need for a discussion afterwards. Dialogue for them was simply an attempt to delay or avoid obedience.

If your children are having trouble cooperating, try “Obey first and then we’ll talk about it” for a while and you’ll see a noticeable difference.

This parenting tip is from the book,  Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes In You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

This tip was used with permission from the National Center for Biblical Parenting.

Visit them at http:www.biblicalparenting.org

Many parents use a simple behavior modification approach to raise their children. “If you get your homework done, then you can go out and play.” “If you clean your room, then you can watch a video.”

Unfortunately, children trained this way often develop a “What’s in it for me?” mentality. “If I don’t get something out of it, why should I obey?”

God is concerned with more than behavior. He is interested in the heart. The heart contains motivations, emotions, convictions, and values. A heart-based approach to parenting looks deeper. Parents still require children to finish their homework and clean up their rooms but the way they give the instructions is different.

Instead of just getting things done, parents look for long-term change in their kids. Sometimes children aren’t ready to change on a heart level and parents must work to address the heart. That may mean more relationship to open the heart or it may involve more boundaries to show kids that they way they are living just isn’t going to work.

A heart-based approach shares values and reasons behind rules. It requires more dialogue, helping children understand how their hearts are resistant and need to develop cooperation. A heart-based approach is firm but also relational. It’s a mindset on the part of parents that looks to develop heart qualities that then bring about significant change.

As you consider your kids remember the words that God said to Samuel in 1 Samuel 16, “Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks on the heart.”

This parenting tip is from the book, Parenting is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

This tip was used with permission from the National Center for Biblical Parenting.

Visit them at http:www.biblicalparenting.org

We’re saying Goodbye to the Ritters as they move to Portland for Chris to finish Seminary.

Please join us for a special evening, including food fellowship and baptism.

Where: Decker’s Home

When: 5-8pm

What to bring: Potluck style- bring a side or dessert,

Swimsuits, chairs, towels

Interested in being baptized… contact Chris or Rick

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