What does it mean to be a man?
Posted on 21. Jul, 2008 by info in chris ritter
What does it mean to be a man? Are there universally adequate terms to describe what it means to be a man? This has been on my mind for the past few weeks as I’ve been reading through a book called “No More Christian Nice Guy” by Paul Coughlin. While it is an interesting read it seems to pigeon hole masculinity into a certain type of guy (though I’m only 4 chapters in). Many books by Christians about Christian men seem to call men to be outdoors lovers who seek adventure in everything they do, or who have rough edges and try to sprinkle a few “cuss words” around just to shake things up a bit. But I’m not entirely convinced this is what it means to be a Christian man. There are many expressions of manhood that are good and right, and many that are wicked as well. I don’t believe that we can try to mold all men into a stereotype of hunters, outdoors thrill seekers and sports enthusiasts. I myself love the outdoors and sports, but am no hunter. I know men who are phenomenal musicians but don’t care much for camping or grilling meat. If hunting, for example, were a measure of masculinity, then we have a couple of twin teenage girls in our church who are far more masculine than 95% of all men, seeing as they have killed elk in the backwoods of Idaho (seriously, I’ve seen pictures).
Fortunately for us, this is not what masculinity needs to boil down to.
I say all of this because I believe there are marks of masculinity that Christian men should aim for, but they are not outward manifestations such as sports and outdoors. For starters, I believe God calls men to sacrifice their time, talents and treasure for His sake. This is done by sacrificing something you may rather do and instead serving your wife, playing with your children when you’ve just gotten home from work, taking your daughter out for a daddy/daughter date, and so on. Sacrifice is a major aspect of manhood (not exclusively men, of course) and can express itself in many ways.
Another mark of masculinity is humility. I do not mean humility that denies your strengths or abilities, but a humility that reflects any praise you may get back to God who has given you all that you have. Humility, as I’ve heard it described, is not thinking less of yourself, but it is think of yourself less. Men who follow Christ must have pride beaten out of them and humility beaten in them. The masculine Christian man is not someone who gloats in their accomplishments, but who gloats in Christ’s accomplishments on the cross on his behalf.
A third mark of masculinity is responsibility. There are far too many boys in the form of a man who never learn to take responsibility for their own life, never mind the lives of their family. Instead of raising children who love and fear God, they pursue selfish dreams of success or money, all the while leaving women to do both parental jobs in the home. It is true that God will hold all of us responsible for our actions, but I believe it is even truer that God holds men responsible for the affairs of a home and family.
These are just three marks of masculinity that come to me now, marks that I know I need to grow in daily in obedience to Christ. These are not exclusive marks of men, but of women as well. Defining masculinity without using external marks such as outdoors lovers, sports nuts, and so on can be difficult, but I believe it is necessary. There are Godly men who love all sorts of activities, and so we should not try to break those down and cram manhood into any single one of them. Men, my purpose in writing is to get you reflecting on what you are doing to “boost your masculinity” in your life. Are you seeking God’s will and His call to be a man, or have you been defining it with outward expressions? Ask God to continue to show you marks of true masculinity apart from activities – as you do so I believe you will find freedom to express yourself in God glorifying ways, ways that make you feel more fully alive.